Deb Zahn: Hi. Want to welcome you to this week's episode of the Craft of Consulting podcast. On this podcast, we're going to talk about something that's actually a ton of fun but it's also something that can make you more marketable and can help you help your clients better get the results that they actually want. And what I'm talking about is experiential teaching and engagement strategies. And I brought on someone who's an ace at this. Shannon Hughes of Enlivened Studios uses improv techniques when she's working with all kinds of different clients to help them get the change that they want. And she talks about how to do it and she talks about how to talk to prospective clients about it so that they get what it is and they want to have that as part of an engagement with you. It is so much fun and she gets very specific about a lot of what she does. My advice is if you can even incorporate any of these techniques into what you do, it's going to make you so much more valuable. Let's get started.

Hi. I want to welcome Shannon Hughes to the show today. Shannon, thank you so much for joining me.

Shannon Hughes: It's a pleasure. I'm so glad to be here.

Deb Zahn: Let's start off. Tell folks what you do.

Shannon Hughes: My name is Shannon Hughes, and I'm an experiential facilitator. I have a practice called Enlivened Studios. I root my work in applied improv, which is basically taking some of the tenets of improv, performative improv but taking those tenets and those practices out of the theater, off the stage, and into business. I also root my work in play and story sharing and connective dialogue. And I do that in businesses to bolster collaboration and creativity. And I say to get people out of their head and into their story.

Deb Zahn: Oh, I just love that. This is why I wanted to have you on because I think for consultants, the more that they can learn outside of the traditional, often boring, same ‘ole, same ‘ole consulting practices, the more valuable they're going to be for clients and the more able they're going to be able to help them achieve results. We're going to dive into some of what those experiential techniques are that you use but let's start with the why first. Why do that? Why is that, aside from what I just said, why is that useful?

Shannon Hughes: Well, I often joke that there's so much research now...especially now more than ever about the importance of emotional intelligence, the quote-unquote, and I've got my air quotes going here, these soft skills which that term just makes my skin crawl. Why we consider those skills to be soft is completely beyond me. In my opinion and I know in yours too, Deb because I've been following you and listening to what you have to say about these things too. But leadership and employee growth and retention and innovation and all of that need to come from a human place. It often is about the bottom line but it's also about that triple bottom line. How do we show up to our companies and our work? Not just for the sake of getting it done but for the sake of being in the presence of one another, respecting one another, understanding the value of sharing stories for the sake of inclusivity and connection.

We're wired to connect. When you think of two people getting together, our hearts and our minds quite literally connect with each other when we're in close proximity with each other. To pretend like that's not important or that it's a soft skill is very shortsighted. And look where we've ended up, we've had so much work to do, not just in the business environment but in the global sphere. And a lot of that stems from not really seeing each other and being with one another in an authentic way. I get really passionate when I talk about that.

Deb Zahn: I'm delighted to hear that because I've used experimental techniques so I know how powerful they are. And soft makes you feel like, and I've used the term soft skills, but soft makes you feel like it's easy and fluffy and rainbows and unicorns. And it's not, it's really hard sometimes because if you're on the side of it where you're facilitating the process, you have to hold the space, you have to deal with all the feelings that come up, you have to deal with resistance, all of those things that are hard but don't get called that.

Shannon Hughes: Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And I always say, I love those aha moments when I'm facilitating a group, it doesn't matter how large or what the dynamics or what kind of a group it is, but there's that moment where the facilitation is happening, the space is being held, the conversations are often very deep. Not in a woo woo kind of soft way like we're saying but really dynamic, engaging conversation that ultimately can drive, like I said, growth and business success and profitability and all those things but it's so awesome to see people playing or in an experiential situation and they kind of look at each other and they go, "Did we just learn something? What just happened there?"

Deb Zahn: She snuck in some learning there.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah. Yeah. And it can be really powerful. Just the way of educating and facilitating in general, this whole one too many, one person behind a microphone or a podium in front of a PowerPoint deck. No, thank you. Let's get into the work in an embodied way so that we can understand it and retain it and use it, bring it back out into the world, and really absorb it in a way that's connective.

Deb Zahn: Yeah. Instead of the Teflon version, which is you tell me things, I retain only what I like and everything else slips off. Which is what happens. Give some examples of what some of those practices look like when you're actually applying them and a little hint of when you would pick a certain practice for a certain purpose.

Shannon Hughes: Let's see. That's a good question. I'll kind of give it by way of example. A couple of weeks ago, I was invited to facilitate a group of 40 sales folks at a live, ooh gasp, real people in a real room.

Deb Zahn: That's wild.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah, in a live environment. And it was a sales kickoff. And a lot of these people had been recruited and onboarded from their living rooms because of COVID so they hadn't met one another. There was also an opportunity for folks on the sales side to meet folks on the engineering side. There wasn't much opportunity for those two groups to connect and understand who one another are as people.

Deb Zahn: Wow. In different worlds.

Shannon Hughes: Totally different worlds. Totally different world. And we got into the space together. And ultimately from the beginning, my kind of mantra is to connect early, connect often. Right from the start, I had them up on their feet. I had given them an exercise where they really needed to move around the room and find one another so that they could find spaces within the room. And so now we've identified four, five, six teams of people throughout the room that they're not homogenous. They were mixed up with engineers and salespeople who likely hadn't met one another. And then I asked them to come up with a team name, a rally cry, and a handshake. Now we've taken a group of 40 people who probably didn't know one another, and we've created these beautiful little groups of very connected teams that then had a true north to come back to throughout the duration of the conference.

And then another example is I was hired recently to do a series of three sessions for a startup. And we kind of titled the first one communicating with transparency and impact. And we did quite a bit of work around the improv rule of yes and which you might be familiar with, I know you have some background.

Deb Zahn: Yeah, actually describe that in case anybody doesn't know what that means.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah. Yeah. It's a, I use the word rule kind of loosely, but a lot of people think of performative improv as something that has no structure. It's kind of easy if you're up for it. You get on stage and you make things up and there's not much of a system or structure to it. And that is very untrue. Improv is actually highly structured, highly nuanced, and does have a set of tenets that the performers follow. “Yes, and” is the most prominent one and what “yes, and” means is...so when we talk about improv, we talk about a number of offers that are put on the table for performers. Two performers come on stage, and they kind of have to work with the offers that they give one another. My offer to you might be, "Hey, mom, gosh, it smells great in here. What's for dinner" And you, yes and that offer by yessing it, you're saying, “Yes, I am the mom. Yes, I am cooking dinner.” And then the and part is and you are going to build on it.

Yes doesn't always mean agree. It means acknowledgment. Acknowledging and building, which if you're following, you can definitely put into play when it comes to business or any social situation because imagine putting yourself into a brainstorming meeting or an ideation session or giving and receiving feedback or conflict resolution. How can you be in conversation with someone and “ye,s and” what's on the table in order to acknowledge and hear and listen with intention and then build towards progress?

Deb Zahn: Oh, I just love that. I love that. That's a great explanation. There you are. You're with the startup folks and that was one of the principles that you had in play in the room. And what did you do with them?

Shannon Hughes: I put them into breakout rooms. I initiated an exercise in a group setting so that we could kind of play with the idea of yes and. We did that in a storytelling format just to kind of get laughing and get some joy in the room and really kind of play with this idea of what yes and means and what it feels like. And then I put them into breakout rooms and I gave them an invitation. I said, "Now what I'd like you to do is I'd like you to kind of volley back and forth with one another by using yes and." And I said, "This is what it's going to sound like." And maybe, Deb, maybe you and I can demo this, would you be up for that?

Deb Zahn: Oh, I'd love to. I'd love to. Let's do it.

Shannon Hughes: OK. I invited this startup community that I was with, I gave them two options. I said, "You can go into your breakout room, and you can plan your father's birthday. You are siblings and you're going to plan your father's birthday." I said, "The second option is maybe you find yourself in a breakout room with a colleague of yours and you really do need to figure something out. Then use the time." Use the next 10, 15 minutes, whatever I had planned to yes and one another, and actually find a solution to whatever it is that you're challenged with. And it was interesting because some people came back with the dad story and some people came back and were like, "Oh my God, we just came up with a whole new product idea."

Deb Zahn: Wow.

Shannon Hughes: It goes like this. I will say, let's plan our dad's birthday party.

Deb Zahn: Got it.

Shannon Hughes: I'll make a suggestion to you and what you're going to do is you're going to sort of repeat what you heard and build. I might say, “Oh my gosh. OK, Deb, dad's birthday is coming up. He's going to be 75. I think for his birthday, we should rent a blimp that floats over the whole city.” Now you're going to say...you're not just going to say yes and. You're going to say, “Yes, we should rent a blimp over the city and…” I'm acknowledging what you have said.

Deb Zahn: Yes, so let's definitely rent a blimp that goes over the city but do they have LED screens so we can have childhood photos of him?

Shannon Hughes: I'm going to give you a quick note, you said but.

Deb Zahn: I did? Oh, see this is why we get so used to the “yes butting.” Thank you for pointing that out.

Shannon Hughes: It's interesting. Isn't it?

Deb Zahn: Oh, interesting. And when you're in a room with people, I assume lots of people do what I just did.

Shannon Hughes: Oh my gosh.

Deb Zahn: How do you handle that? Is it constant sort of remember it's “yes and,” remember it's “yes, and,” and modeling it? How do you keep people off of that? Because obviously, I was so excited about that, I got excited about the blimp and then I immediately went to the but place.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah. Yeah. Really good question. We refer to that in performative improv, we refer to that as side coaching. That would be an opportunity for me to, as a facilitator, when I'm doing the applied improv version, I would say, uh, uh. I would do what I just did to you and say, "That was lovely, Deb. I loved your enthusiasm. Have to point something out though. You said but." And then we'll say, "Let's try it again. Let's try it again and see if we can kind of get that but out of there." I also set it up, I take some time at the beginning to really talk about the value of yes and, and I remind people that we say but far more than we realize.

Deb Zahn: Yeah. Obviously.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah, and what the word but does, is it nullifies everything you've said beforehand. I may give you a compliment but once I say but, nothing else I've said matters. I have just completely erased it.

Deb Zahn: Interesting. But I also love your response was very acknowledging, but it was also kind of playful. We're in the midst of playing a game and you're just pointing out a different way to play it and a little redirection. And it didn't feel in any way like I was being scolded because I've seen facilitators sort of stop and say, "You're doing it wrong," which is awful, I know. It's true. I like how you basically almost invited them back into the play and invited them back into the space where these tenets apply but without sort of shaming, pointing it out, embarrassing them, or anything like that, which will shut people down.

Shannon Hughes: 100%. 100%. And that is actually a nice tee-up to another improv tenet, which I adore. And it is, make your partner look good.

Deb Zahn: Nice. What? That sounds crazy. Aren't you supposed to hog the spotlight and make them look bad? Isn't that the idea?

Shannon Hughes: Exactly, exactly. We're also, although I find it very ironic that although we are wired to connect, we said before, we are also so driven by our amygdala and our fear center. And so we're always trying to fill the quiet space and get our own message across and protect our own story. And so that's a whole separate...I also lead workshops that are all about listening. Listening for the sake of hearing other people and not just butting in with your own story.

Deb Zahn: But what I like about that technique, and I just said but, I realize that but. I did it again. Oh my gosh, it's like a tick. And what I liked about that technique is that it's creating a direct experience of putting the wellbeing of somebody else that you work with first and foremost, which is how you create good teams. It's how you get leaders to be functional. And even a little shift like that when you're on the consultant side and bringing that in and sort of normalizing that can shift the dynamics tremendously. And I know because I've seen it but if the goal of a consultant is to get people to the results that they want to achieve, the path matters. And if you add things like this into the path, you're basically clearing out the path as you're walking it.

Shannon Hughes: Beautifully, beautifully said. I love that.

Deb Zahn: How does some of this work given that you can't do everything live and in-person anymore, depending on what's currently going on? How does some of this translate virtually?

Shannon Hughes: Beautifully. It really does. Obviously, it took some time at the front end to understand the technology, to really be intentional about how to read nonverbal cues, recognizing that we're not looking at each other in the eye, which is prohibitive in a lot of different perspectives but working around it. Quite a bit of practice and getting used to it at the front end. Now I find it can be very powerful. Now that said, breakout rooms are your best friend as a facilitator. And I know you know that. Breakout rooms are, that's where the magic is. And if I can get participants into a breakout room within the first five, 10 minutes of welcoming people into it.

Deb Zahn: Oh wow.

Shannon Hughes: Well, five minutes is gathering, settling. Maybe we have something in the chat. We've got a very quick introduction. I don't do much at the front end in terms of me, me, me. But definitely by 10 minutes or so we're in a breakout room and we're doing some sort of get to know you exercise that is rooted in play but is also, I wouldn't say vulnerable but a game like you have three minutes to find five things in common with each other.

Deb Zahn: Oh, wow. That's great.

Shannon Hughes: And some people come back and they go, "Well, we both ski, we both live in California," pretty basic things. Other people come back and say, "We both lost our father at a young age."

Deb Zahn: Wow.

Shannon Hughes: We're both feeling isolated because of COVID. There's a lot that can happen. And as you architect and as you design a workshop, obviously you start with the stakes pretty low and then you can kind of build-up. It can get really pretty powerful but those breakout rooms, man, that's where the magic is.

Deb Zahn: Yeah. You have to have some type of technology-enhanced intimacy to make it actually work. I love that. And anything else that you do virtually that's a little bit different than what you might do in person?

Shannon Hughes: Well, what I do, I wouldn't say it's different than what I do in person but I think it's different than what a lot of people do virtually is encouraging people to use their bodies and use their space. And I often joke when I'm on these calls or in these sessions, I'll make a little gesture. I know we're on a podcast here but I'll make a gesture right in my square, my little, and I refer to it as a Brady Bunch square. And I say, "We're not these bobbleheads." And then I often joke around and I literally I put my foot up, I raise it up to the camera. I stand up out of my chair and I just remind people, we have bodies and we have space and that doesn't need to be a big space. It doesn't need to be anything but just reminding people that they can stretch and move and it's OK to look out the window if they feel called to do that.

Deb Zahn: And they can stand up, just make sure you have pants on or something on that you're not embarrassed by.

Shannon Hughes: That's exactly right.

Deb Zahn: I love that. I love that. And one thing, a plug I want to make for this is that this isn't, and I'm a native Californian. So I recognize that there is a direction this can go that feels woo woo to people. But the reality is, is major companies are using these techniques because they see the utility of them. I recall, years ago, I knew someone who was in a major technology firm, an extremely successful technology firm. This was back when, remember before banking had ATMs and you could do things electronically, it was all paper? This was to transition the banking industry from paper to electronic. Very high stakes, lots of money involved. And they used to take all their technology people through these experiential learning and play sessions for the express purpose of getting them to question their assumptions, getting them to look and think about things in completely out of box ways because the technology was so new, you had to be able to do that.

They would do things like play games like, they would establish a scenario where they would say, “There's a cabin up in the woods. Six people are inside it dead, what happened?” And you could only ask yes or no questions until you arrived at the answer. And the whole thing was about questioning your assumptions because you just pictured a wood cabin. It's actually a cabin of a plane. Once you question your assumptions and you get beyond that, you're now in a creative space that you weren't otherwise where you're not clinging to your assumptions. This is big business ways of doing things. And that's how powerful folks know that it truly can be. I have to put a plug in for that because I know some folks might be listening thinking, but shouldn't I just be with my flip chart and just up there and doing what we typically do because goodness knows we love those.

If there was a consultant who's hearing this and thinking, if for no other reason than I'm completely bored with how I'm doing this. I think I can get better results for my clients. Where would you suggest they go to understand how to use tools like this?

Shannon Hughes: That's a great question. First of all, there is a download that I have and maybe we can put this in the show notes.

Deb Zahn: Absolutely.

Shannon Hughes: It's called Tips and Tricks to Enliven up Your Virtual Gatherings. And it's a free download it's on my website, enlivendstudios.com/download. Pretty easy to remember. And there's kind of a little starter kit on some ideas about designing for virtual. There's even a couple of exercises or games that I have in there. And then some additional little information at the end about who I am and what I do. That's one place to go that's easy. Gosh, there are so many resources out there around experiential learning more generally and about applied improv specifically.

Deb Zahn: They should watch all of your YouTube videos. Which are just a blast.

Shannon Hughes: Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, I do. I have a YouTube channel with a number of videos on there and some great information on my site. I've got a blog and things like that. And I don't think it's on my website right now, which is shame on me. I use something that I refer to as my ALIVENESS scaffolding. I shouldn't say my ALIVENESS scaffolding. It's an aliveness scaffolding that I've come up with. And basically, it's an acronym that spells ALIVENESS. I took that term from a Howard Thurman quote, which is a beautiful quote about showing up with our aliveness. And it's essentially nine leadership skills that I teach around through my practice. And it goes like this, awareness, listening, interdependence, vulnerability engagement, non-judgment, embrace change, start anywhere and say yes.

Deb Zahn: Oh, I love those. I love those. And imagine bringing those, and you don't have to imagine because you live it every day, bringing those to a group setting that is used to maybe toxicity, competition, belittling, all of the other ways that can destroy a culture and inhibit results. And that's a completely different way to do it.

Shannon Hughes: Exactly. And when you speak with a leader like this startup I keep talking about who really gets that at a cultural level where we had three sessions and afterward the reviews come back of, oh my gosh, I use yes and all the time. It's completely changed how I talk with my team. It's completely changed how I show up to my family and my community. That's where I can really go, yes, this work is so critical. And to big business, small business, giant behemoth financial firms, to your point, you may think of it as play and that's not a bad thing. Learning through experiential forums and sessions and playing our way into learning a thing or two might just change the world.

Deb Zahn: Right. And if you're a consultant and you show up with that, you're doing something different than a lot of what they would get elsewhere. And actually, that's one of the questions I wanted to ask you is because I think about who my clients are, and I've done similar things where they're going to have a merger and acquisition and we're going to do some play around it so that it actually succeeds. Imagine that, since most of them fail. Powerful stuff. There are some clients who are that's all they want. They want that kind of goodness. How do you approach a client who that's not how they're used to doing things. That's not the type of consultants they typically hire or facilitators. How do you get them on board with it?

Shannon Hughes: Good question. Oftentimes, I'll be asked to be explicit. What does this look like? I don't get it. It doesn't make sense to me. If you're not used to it, it doesn't make sense. And so oftentimes I will engage a prospective client in an exercise, something really simple, something that is around yes and that's fairly easy to grasp once you see the power of it. Or a word at a time story that kind of demonstrates the power of story and also demonstrates the power of agility and getting teams to think on their feet to be able to overcome client objections potentially, depending on the prospect that I'm talking to. I'll just give an overview of the value of it. Oftentimes I'll point to the neuroscience or some research that backs it because God knows there is lots and lots of that.

And I'm happy to share some resources if it's helpful for your audience. And then engage in just a little bit of a mini exercise with a short debrief and a story. A story that demonstrates how it's helped other companies like the one that I'm talking with and I've got plenty of them so it's an easy thing to do. I'm not going to say that it's always an easy mind to change. And sometimes I don't win those pieces of business and I kind of bless and release and say, "OK, They'll either come back around or they'll float their own way," and I move on to something else. You have to be ready to let go too.

Deb Zahn: It has to be a fit because if it's not a fit it's a constant argument. And who wants that? That's great. Folks can find you on your website. We're going to have a link to that. We're going to have a link to your tips that you provide for virtual meetings. And if you want to give us a link to any of the...because I love the neuroscience stuff, I'm such a nerd. I'm not even going to try and pretend like I'm not, I really am. If you want to give us a link to one of your favorite go-to places, we can put that up on the show notes. As you're out doing all this fabulous work in the world and you still have your life and the rest of it, how do you bring balance? However it is you define that for yourself.

Shannon Hughes: It's a really good question. It's a practice. It's definitely a practice. I have two young kids. I have an eighth-grader, so I've got a 13-year-old and a nine-year-old boy, both boys. There's a lot going on. I would say finding balance for me, especially lately, I've been finding balance by really leaning into my community. Just really owning up to the fact that there is a select group of people that I know and trust when I know her in my corner. And sometimes it's a text. Sometimes it's a call. Sometimes it's a group session where we can all just unload and talk about where we are and what our struggles are or cheer each other on or just be a good listener. That's really helped me balance a lot lately.

Being a solopreneur is amazing and extremely difficult as I'm sure you know and I'm sure a lot of your listeners know. And one thing I learned when I went into this was being an entrepreneur is inextricably linked to who we are as people and how we are in this world. And it poses challenges sometimes because you get a no or you get some feedback or you struggle with value or pricing or any of those little self doubts that you get about your business. And it's an immediate reflection on us because we are our business. They're one and the same.

Deb Zahn: That's right. You don't even need a bridge. It's just there.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Which makes your question even more relevant about finding balance. I would say in my community and then also just knowing when to shut off and take breaks and I'm definitely still learning that one. It's time to go outside. It's time to shut down for the day. It's time to put my phone on do not disturb. Whatever that mechanism is for tuning off and doing my own thing for the sake of my wellbeing. Because I'm only going to be able to show up and be in service if I can take care of myself.

Deb Zahn: That's right. Because I can't imagine, well, first of all, I think it's true for everybody, but I can't imagine doing the type of work you do that requires the presence that it requires to be able to show up and be fully there if you're depleted. And I have facilitated when I'm depleted. It ain't easy.

Shannon Hughes: No, no. And that is also a learning process. When I was...three years ago or four years ago I would come out of these live sessions at the time. I couldn't put two words together. I couldn't do anything. I had given everything to the group that I was with. And I'm intentional about that now. I don't have to carry everybody's energy on myself. It's a practice of learning what belongs to me and what can I leave here? And what can I leave with this particular person who's struggling or has some sort of issuers pushing back? What do I own? And what don't I own? Because I'm a human being and I can only take on so much before we start to just crumble.

Deb Zahn: You're hitting on something that is so critical for all consultants to learn. Because whether you're talking about IT or finance or culture or anything, if you take on and pull into yourself all of the drama, all the frustration, all of the missteps, and everything that it takes to actually get to the goal...if you pull that all in emotionally yourself, you will burn out quickly, and then you can't have the business that you want because you're going on fumes all the time.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's got to be sustainable.

Deb Zahn: Exactly. I love that you brought that up because that's never come up on one of my podcasts before but if there was any skill around setting boundaries and setting emotional boundaries and setting energy boundaries and all of those things, which any facilitator knows what all of those things are, that is absolutely critical. And if you want to build a business where you get the income you want, you get the joy that you want, you get the results that you want, you got to learn how to do that. I love that.

Shannon Hughes: Yeah. Yeah. And one more thing there in terms of a tactical thing to do is, and at least I can only speak for myself. It's really helpful for me if I need to build in a buffer. I cannot go from one session to another session. In fact, probably not even in the same day, to be honest.

Deb Zahn: Yeah, I'm the same way.

Shannon Hughes: You need that time. I am pointing to my door here because on the other side of this door is my family and my dog and my Guinea pigs and my mother's calling and whatever. If I can just turn my computer off in the virtual setting as an example, and just sit or go out, I have a door here, go outside and not tell anybody that I'm there. And just take a minute to let that experience either wash over me in a really joyful and positive way and allow some of it to shed so that I can go in to deal with my family and all the other things that are my real, my quote-unquote real life.

Deb Zahn: Yeah, exactly. Which as you said, when you're a solopreneur, it's all life. Well Shannon, I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed this conversation. There's so much good stuff in there. I will put your information in the show notes but thank you so much for joining me today.

Shannon Hughes: Thank you so much for having me. It's such a pleasure. So good to know you, Deb.

Deb Zahn: Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the Craft of Consulting Podcast. I want to ask you to do actually three things. If you enjoyed this episode or if you've enjoyed any of my other ones, hit subscribe. I got a lot of other great guests that are coming up and a lot of other great content and I don't want you to miss anything. But the other two things that I'm going to ask you to do is, one is, if you have any comments, so if you have any suggestions or any kind of feedback that will help make this podcast more helpful to more listeners, please include those.

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So as always, you can go and get more wonderful information and tools at craftofconsulting.com. Thanks so much. I will talk to you on the next episode. Bye-bye.